Well, school started today for those heading back to Grant Macewan. Congratulations to all who made it through the first year and onto the second. I wish I could be there with you. More than anything right now, thats what my heart wishes for, and for that matter, misses. Evidently, even by writing about it first, its just there, top of my mind, in my thoughts – has me feeling a tad bit remorseful.
My actions last year were poor. Wasn’t quite sure at what point I started playing games, but I seemed to be the only one who lost in the end. Most definitely uncool. I still feel apologetic, but have already said my sorry’s. Those who have wanted to remain my friends have made an evident show of this, and not surprisingly… they are all males – perhaps saying something.
In any event… I have vowed to go back to Grant Macewan as I will one day have, a writing degree. After I initially did this, I thought – hell, why not masters? Go to London, pursue that dream. I still remember the remark my prof made, that I could possibly be a teacher if I pursued it.
That is a dream indeed – a dream and a half – and I’d be starting about four years late(r) than most. Still, it is my passion and my dream all the same, and not taking any steps toward it, leaves me unsatisfied, yearning to be learning. heh.
I look around, see my peers flying on ahead. I see those who got an early start and how far they’ve gone – and I’m envious. I’d love to be right, next to them, moving forward. But here I am, sidelined, wishing those who can go forward, good luck and that they do well. And every time I do, a tinge of remorse for not having done better last year.
Oh well. That was then. Here I am today. I’ve learned. We take that, re-apply it, and try again. Ill never have anyone say, I didn’t try, and try again.
but for some trees to grow, to stand out from the forest, they must grow, apart from the thick of the rest