Secular voices booming,
deafening me with ill wisdom
To say what is and what is not,
what is right or wrong.
To be swayed by the majority
the popular vote of reason.
To be logical and full of sense,
to me, makes no sense;
A frustrating barrier
that defies the programming of my essence.
I want to live free,
in my thoughts, in my speech
To let loose the simplicities of truth
spoken from my heart.
Though always struggling
with the complexity there-in.
Wondering if a mere mortal man
can be trusted for his word.
And I, no great counsel,
for no greater fool, do I truly know
This is to say I know my mistakes;
To point out the flaws of another is simply hypocritical.
I humbly accept that,
Yes, I am a fool, though one that is
Trying his hardest to overcome odds beset in motion by fate.
For in that, ones fate,
is defined by his past.
And my past,
a vast array troublesome times
Sometimes dictates that my actions contradict my thoughts,
My heart, the very core of who I am,
of who I was meant to be
And thus an illogical equation of actions,
Equaling the man I have come to be.
For in me one will find the contradiction
of habit and addiction,
Fighting furiously against
the possibility of a man with a destiny.
For all my smoothed tongued words, I’d speak
Convince the masses
I was a better man than the average.
But would be found a liar,
and a hypocrite
And thus you will find in me,
a testament to darker days lived.
The honesty of a mere man,
Simply spelling out,
the condition of the human heart,
The struggles faced.
And in the end knowing
the struggle of good and evil,
If I have done wrong, I’ll give
No excuses for mistakes made,
no cop-outs for opportunities missed,
For in the end all I will hear
Is the deafening silence,
assuring me that my mistakes
are no-ones by my own.
June 6th 2009