The Blind Side – Movie Review

I walked into the Theaters Friday night, November 20th, opening night for new movies and was surprised to see how packed it was. I was disappointed to learn that 90 percent of the people there were going to see one movie. You guessed it, New Moon.  Of these 90 percent, 99 percent were young teen girls. It made me horrified at the fact that in our darkened world, we young people snap up crud, garbage, that does nothing to feed our inner being – it actually does the opposite – it deprives us.  Such movies deprive us because it leaves us (teen girls) feeling empty, as if they are missing out on something ([supernatural vampire]romance) and that leaves them craving more of these types of films – like an addiction.

I am not here to review New Moon, as I have not, nor will not see this film. Instead, I took in a heart felt, true story – The Blind Side, staring Sandra Bullock.

First, I want to start by stating that the reason why I am writing this, is to do this movie justice; reading a review on it in one of the metro newspapers, I was rather disappointed to see that it got a poor rating, and an equally poor write up. The writer felt that it was boring and didn’t like Sandra Bullocks character, furthermore, he was looking for a hard hitting, actions packed football movie. I can understand how if one entrees this movie with that mind set, they will indeed be disappointed, as this movie’s focus is not about football.

Instead, this amazing true story, is about the power of God working in ones life. How one person, or a few (a family) can change someones life – for the better.

Big Mike is a lost boy, with a troubled past. Quite and shy, he is labeled as stupid, causing him to be cast aside and forgotten by society. Mike is finally given a chance and accepted into school, where if he passes his studies, he may play football, or other sports – an area at which he excels at.

As one might guess, it is not an easy start, people judge him, dislike him and simply won’t give him a chance. Until he meets a young boy at school, who chooses to befriend him – Mike later meets the mother of the young boy (played by Sandra bullock) and she has compassion for him and takes her into his home – she begins to transform his life, as he begins to transform hers, and her whole families.

This movie is filled with hope, love, laughter and a little action, making it a well rounded drama flick.  I found it very inspirational and uplifting – the kind of movie that makes you want to stand up and cheer – the kind of movie that makes one want to make a difference.

So, if you’re tired of sappy teenage romance stories, lame comedies and action packed – eye candy movies – and are looking for something a little “deeper” – this movie is the move to see!


Possession is 9/10th’s the law

Things are defiantly different. Though I’ve been smoking a little pot over the last week and a half, it has been a small amount, usually later in the day. So, it is slowly losing its grip on my life. Moves will be made to finalize this, to make sure that I do not contentiously slip back into a self destructive lifestyle. I have finally managed to create some breathing space, and though I am finding it challenging – I know it will be worth it.

Finally coming up with a plan to get into counseling. Took me a week, I admit, I was a bit delayed on my initial plan. Still had some wild oats to sow, but assuradly, that is quickly coming to an end.  I have plans to have a deliverance done – a exorcism in other words. Pretty crazy eh? I’ve had them done before, but in smaller ways. This one… will be done “for real” by “professionals”… to put it in an odd way.

You see… being spirit being, we … have spirits. Duh. BUT, that said, there are also other spirits. Demons, angels, witchcraft and all kinds of other nifty things one may learn about when walking any sort of spiritual life ; these things, these spirits, can influence and even attach themselves to our spirits. That said, addiction is more than a mere compulsion to simply smoke dope, drink or do hard drugs – it can actually be a spirit that is INSIDE you, wanting those things.

So quite literally, one is possessed.

Interestingly enough, due to my… intense upbringing… I was no stranger to negative or positive influences. At the time, thats all I “felt” they were, just good or bad infleunces…. Then as I got older, I began to become aware of the negative, even evil presences in, and around me. I began to realize, I was playing with demons and quite literally – possessed.

Now, possession is not something like the exorcism or such films. I mean… Not on the typical day to day level that this stuff is dealt with. I guess there are, and have heard, extreme cases of possession like that of the Exorcism.

Interestingly enough, I’ve experienced demonic manifestation in reaction to the world of God or payer. It’s not a fun experience. I’ve quite literally heard things shouting inside of me, and eventually they take over completely and can use my own tongue to talk, scream, swear or mutter things.

I know this has a lot to do with why I am extreme, dual nature and constantly seem to contradict myself – its like there is more than one being in my body – and for that matter, there is.

Now, one may wonder how or why demons can link to our spirits. Simple reason – Sin. Behavior in contradiction to God’s word or spirit. Thus, allowing demons a “legal” right to bond to the host and torment them, use them, live off them. What is worse than trying to wrap ones head around the concept of “sin” and it allowing “demons” to “possess” is the fact that the reason a demon may be attacking, may not even be ones own fault! It could be something from a parent, or grandparent, or somewhere way back in ones ancestry.

Ever wonder why some people have it so bad? Well… the above could be one explanation.

In any event, that was an odd tangent to get into, but alas, find it interetsing to write about, and quite frankly, know its something people certainly wonder about.


So, I have a job prospect with the home depo, this is the job that I’ve wanted for awhile, this job will allow me to live MY lifestyle. Ill be able to have my evenings free to visit my son, or do something like boxing or an art class, as I’ll be working a set night shift. I simply wake up in the afternoon, and start my day from there, take care of what ever I may need too, and then go to work. I hope it will keep me busy, and when I am not busy, Ill either be with my son or at church or boxing.

So, that is the grand master plan. Toughing it out, getting a job – getting some good habits going – re – creating everything. Start over. Ground up. Let’s get the foundation laid right this time. I’m tired of things caving in on me. I am getting closer to that dream of knowing what it means to be a man of destiny.

The next few days will certainly bring some interesting things. Ready to see some sparks fly?

Mixed Nuts

I once again question the logic of writing an open journal. It’s something anyone can read, even those who oppose you, or those you write about. Perplexing. Challenging. No, I’ve never had anything to hide. That’s the way I’ve chosen to live my life – openly. Which in the end, as always, the best policy is honesty. Perplexing. Challenging. There are some words between a few people I that have to be had. Stop. Cause it’s not what you think. It’s not about confrontations. It’s not about disliking or being upset. It’s actually about getting things healthy. Getting relationships and friendships healthy. It really starts with the individual – I – getting healthy, and then maybe after some time, help others.

That is really what I’ve always wanted to be about, and it’s somehow gotten smothered.

I suppose It could be easy for anyone of us to point fingers at people in our lives and say “that’s the bad guy” or “it’s his/her fault, the blame is your’s”. No, that wont do, cause I can admit to at least myself, that I am ultimately the one to blame for things that go wrong in my life.

It amazes me how some people can’t though.

So, for my own lack of a will to say no, I seem to generate problems for myself, and my friends  – and then get frustrated over it. Hm. It’s really time to simply put the face to the other faces, and say the words I need to say.

I wonder how many other people need to do this, but don’t – and then in just turns into gossip, or something worse. Hmm.. Something to think about.


SO, I have this super crazy Idea. Hah hah. How about confronting a certain someone at a certain school, and saying hello? No, it will be more than a hello – a “hey! here’s whats owed to you.” Genuinely, I am not being sarcastic or malicious here. I have a debt that I feel that I need to repay, and previous attempts have not gone well. I feel misunderstood. Heh heh, Now I know what some might think, that this is unwise and I should just let it be… but… Hell I am me, I am random, quirky, a can leave one hell of an impression. (that’s right I can say that about myself) So, I am curious to see what may come of it.

Also, though I have bought and smoked pot recently, and am currently stoned, I am finding it more and more unappealing. Certainly, things are different, I may have at last obtained the mentality to be sober. I intend to finish the last of gram I bought, and that will be it. It will be interesting to once again perceive things with a clear, sober mind. Everything changes.

I find it interesting at how tired a little bit of pot makes me. I am certainly not enjoying feeling burnt out. It amazes me how much I detoxed my body in just one week. Too bad I had to feel the need to party in athabasca. Odd. How I Ended up doing the opposite of what I intended.

Thus why its important to fallow through with just isolating myself, and keeping strictly to what is important. Then at least in time I can control my compulsion to smoke pot or drink. Think logically, to my fullest potential, to hopefully be influential – and inspirational.

To be influential and inspirational, that’s it. That’s why I am open, and choose to write openly.

Where I Stand

I made it home and am doing well.  I have been sober since last Friday – not even a smoke since then. Needless to say, headaches and tension have been aggressively attacking me. Oh well, all for the better I suppose. I am over my sickness, feeling better – getting back to a place of wellness, all around.

Things will be much different this time. I am far to tired of taking back the disease of addiction – far to tired of allowing “friends” to walk all over me, use me, pollute me. Hindsight has shown me some amazing people the last while, some amazing friends. I will be keeping these people close – those who are sober, those who are intelligent.

It is time, to leave the past behind, and if certain individuals can’t understand that, than they are certainly, not my friend(s) anymore.

No more drugs, no more drinking. Just a focus for that which is good and true.  I have been back in the scriptures, finding my answers, my direction again.

Can I tell you a secrete? I am going to be a hero. One built of faith and righteousness, one built of love and sacrifice. It’s what I’ve wanted, even before I became a Christian, before I even knew God – and began to discover his plan for my life.

Yeah, more of that crazy Christian stuff. You know what though? I know, without a doubt, that if I am sober, in the spirit – there will be no denying the power of God in my life, in my heart, and in my very hands. There will be no disproving me – no more. That is the kind of person I want to be.

I posses the gift, to change peoples lives – permanently.

Big words, yes, big words – but I was never created to think small, to be small, to live small – I’ve only ever put myself in a small box, because I’ve been afraid – and misguided. There is no more room for fear, or misguided, self deceived thoughts.

So, I have a plan, to go to the root of much of what has been building up, for some time now. Basically, here it is.

Firstly, I had to remove myself from all the negative influences of the city, get away from drugs and all the people I can’t seem to say no to. Build up some steam, some strength, then go back with a new attitude and determination.

I have gotten back into my faith, praying once again, reading the Bible. It is good, I am hearing clearly again – and its time to do some amazing things.

I will be getting back into counseling, finally see how much I need someone to talk to – friends and family can fail all to easily – need someone with some real life experience to handle the stuff I spout off. I am sure a few people can attest to that.  It will be good to have a support system worked out.

I may be taking a trip to search for my real parents, burry that past. Its been to long now. For 5 years I’ve had the option to see where they are at – maybe its time now – maybe its time for that part of me to heal, and then be sealed off and done with. Maybe then I’ll feel less bitter, less angry – less like a broken human being.

Finally, I intend to get a job, to hold me over the next 10 months, till I can re-apply at Grant Macewan University. That is where I belong. I am not pursuing any other path than writing, and I will do what it takes to get there – even if it means starving to do it.  I know that, God gave me this talent for a reason, and it must be grown, and shared. I will be back – no matter what. I will pursue my dream of writing, of getting my degree – and I will succeeded this time.

You know why? Look over my writing on here, on this web site. Everything I’ve written, I’ve written high or drunk, if not both. High on coke, weed and drunk. I’d like to think, if i can write like that, think like that, while totally messed up – how much more talent can I poses if I am totally sober? I’ve written essays for school, while pounding back beers – edited while high or drunk – and still pulled an 80 off. (Yeah, I was cocky, and in the end, it did do me in)

I’ve done more drugs, than the classroom and teacher combined – and I matched my peers as an equal. I am tired of being my worst enemy – at last, those who’ve be-friended me the last while – will see who I truly am, and just what I am truly capable of.

I am stronger than ever – only getting stronger and that is where I stand.