Sitting here listening to some Akon. Thinking. Drinking a beer. My head hurts from last night but this beer will help. What an awesome party. Really good time.
Except my mind would not stop thinking about you. Non stop. Checking to see if you were there – wondering if you tried to show up and maybe I missed you – or maybe you came to wendys but could not get in. I don’t know – and its the not knowing that eats away at me. Like trying to piece together your life – when I’m not there, in it. Replaying the things you said, things we did together and fitting them together like puzzle pieces – trying to see something more – a clear picture.
But just left with an empty feeling – its not satisfying – going round and round in my mind, chasing you.
Id just rather be with you.
Right there beside you
whether talking or not
sitting or walking
friends or lovers
or nothing at all
just seeing you
Drinking and thinking and reading old poems on face book and everything in the beginning and how crazy it all was and is and will be.
I had such an amazing night/day with you. It was fucking awesome. Better than awesome. Oh my god. You get stuck in my head. AND no I’m not obsessing – you’ve just become my favorite drug, my newest and deadliest addiction – and I want more and more – of you.
It’s like I can’t get enough. So I’m some how trying to get closer to you by reading your face/book tumblr over and over again. I keep hoping you will come online for some odd reason – not like I’d have much to say – just be like 🙂 inside and know you are okay.
I hope you are okay –
you are doing
just do it safe.
Playing love the way you lie right now.
I used to listen to this song all the time
then I knew you loved it too and it was alright
then we broke up and I could not listen to it
caues it was like us – we became the song
kinda sorta in a little way –
all the emotions stirred by it
over thinking and wondering
what is the truth of us
its all okay
cause it doesn’t matter if you lied
or if they lied
or if we were crazy and intense
and didn’t work
we still had great moments
made better by the bad ones
the bad ones make the good ones stand out
without the bad we cant appreciate the good
I take the bad with the good
and the good with the bad
cause it’s all good
in the end.
I never ever want to forget you or stop thinking about you
you inspire me in so many ways
your complicated life and the mess it is
the complicated mess I am
the mess we are together
everything all together
will be on my mind
day in and day out
for days, weeks and months on end
always thnking and looking forward
to just hearing/seeing you.
I think you have it right
more than any of us
young like you
older like me
you just live your life
you are free
and you do
what you do.
Live your life.
It’s awesome to be here in Gold River. Not so awesome you are not here cause I’m just thinking about you non stop. Literally. Just you been on my mind all night and day / since I saw you last – all week / month like this. I wish I could just walk down the road and see you – even know you are just near by – but I am okay. I mean. I like being here just able to think and drink and write… and leave little notes for you to find. 😉 so you always know im always thinking of you and pulling for you and rooting for you… so you know how much I care and feel for you – as a friend and a lil more. 😉 I am just thinking I know I’ll talk to you soon, and hear your voice and once again – wait and look forward to when ever / however I see you next.
I am enjoying hanging with carlos and my dad.Its good to just get out and away and see some family – feel some love, eat some good food and just relax with no worry of this or that and work and people or anything – its nice.
Though I do wonder if you maybe tried coming to see me today, saturday. I went down to the soup kitchen, i figure cause you weren’t there you were passed out somwhere – warm and dry I hope. I figure so cause you didn’t show up at my place. I bet you had a really crazy crazy time – being Canada and all. Its pouring rain right now… I hope you are dry and warm and everything. Miss you lots.