Ode to me
Oh yes. This is an ode to me
Cause I am fucking awesome
And I know this. And fuck everyone
Cause most people are not worth my fucking time to give my best
And then there are those
Who test me and bring me to my best
And I love the immensely
And they are worthy company
And we bond and grow fond and become
The kind of friends that last longer that just the mortal end.
We walk together hand in hand in heaven,
That is the dream that seems so impossible at times
When nothing makes sense and life makes us sick
Tick tick, tick – the time ways heavy on my mind
Over thinking and thinking again and again
On everything that’s been
That’s made me me and given me my ability to see
People raw and real and hence why I push limits and boundaries
And do my fucking best to confuse the ordinary.
I am unsteady and constantly crazy and simply deep
Always ironic and a chronic abuser and user of words
To make my world real and feel less alone and prone
To writing while fighting my demons drunk
Often sunk low and not even slowed by drink
And I think I write too much while intoxicated
Like these very words you read – flying effortlessly
Off my mind – and I find it amazing when I think
What if I didn’t drink or toke or smoke – and i was totally sober
I’d blow everyone over with my talent – nonstop relent of my words
Pouring out for all to be heard and if I gave my story
And said this and that of God and gave my testimony
I could be the kind of man to fucking change destinies.
But I am a sinner a mortal man crying out when he can’t
Take the shit that besets his heart – and from dark to light
Try to fight and stay ahead of the devils evil spells.
I will not ever give up and will always live by the code in my heart
God is all and everything and everything I am and why I love the way I do now.
It was taught to me and changed me and I knew it to be real
Its more than just what we think we feel.
See and hear and know in the physical
Is supersedes the mental and comes to a level
Where the spiritual is very real and only the stupid fucking ignorant
Can’t comprehend cause they’re dense e and make no sense
To life – hence the strife in their lives. Never knowing what it means to be alive.
And though I do, you may find it odd, a man who sins while loving God.
I admit I do some stupid shit and have known the intense closeness of God.
I am a man to used to his old ways and it takes its toll everyday
Straining to walk a straight and narrow path when I’ve been known to not give a fuck
Because I was born with no luck to have anyone show me I was worth the while to love
And now push comes to shove and I am shoved but choose to love with God’s love
The love taught to me, and see someone with profound insight and choose to live their life
And fight for them with every bit of my strength,
Even if God think it backwards and I am out of order –
I heard a quote I liked,.
“You can’t save any lives –
Till you’ve honestly tried to save just one.”
Love someone truly
Reach out your hand and pull a friend
From deaths untimely end.
August 31st 2011