Hate in my heart

Hate in my heart
For everything trivial

Pulls me apart

Migrate to the center

Of this weather

The calm middle

Floating with feathers

Of a riddle I am not;

Part of the equation

Loss’s devastation

Has me berating hard

Teething child of mild

Addictions;

The winning card

Is not held in my hand

Broken trying to understand

Life and why I try so hard

But go no where

It’s unfair

To see those lesser pass me

And me stay stuck in a rut

Like I was sixteen

With nothing learned

Between then and twenty five

I’ certainly don’t feel alive.

I am sick of every tick

Telling  me to stay positive

I’ve been born positive

Deposited into a family of nothing

Born into hatred and self destruction

Drugs were my parents best friends

And in the end are mine

And I find myself all alone

And stoned with the reality

That I walk better in calamity

There is no positivity

No matter how much I think it

I drink shit and the brink brings me under

I’m drowning in my misery

And can’t be free

Maybe choose not to be.

You are not me

Not lived my life

You don’t know my strife

Not at all, so don’t mind if I bawl

And state that I hate life

And there is no more rife

Things left for me

Please see me

As someone who’s simply cursed

To rehearse morbid lines

Cause time has told me

I deserve no better than

Posting mourning letters

For my self

My own eulogy

Of death

Even though

I’m still alive….

I strive in vain

And every single day

Is exactly the same.

Full of pain.

Tell me to be positive one more time

And I’ll fucking snap.

Ron Bergquist

October 13th 11:20pm

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