I just feel like writing for the fact of doing something while thinking. Instead of just sitting here listening to music. I tried to write a poem after reading some of my old stuff but i couldnt put down anything I liked at all.
I’ts fucking pouring out. And i dont feel like getting soaked going to get groceries. Everyones working and were all broke anyways… Just huddle inside and watch as the hours amazing some how both slowly… and quickly disappear.
I can manage my time on my own just fine, but sometimes feel like if Im not out with people like im missing out on life. It’s easier to distract oneself when with others. I hate too much time alone to think. I usually end up in a melancholy mood.
in anyevent its just another shitty day that will pass. And there will be many more like it. Just bear with it and then good will come around when its meant to and it will be better than what it was hoped to be.
today I don’t have a clue what to say
friendships die as new ones are born;
hardships, shapes us as we ship off on another,
adventure, together with another.
lovers come and go cause when we feel low
we know we have to let go, to go higher
find a new desire to aspire to be better
to the letter of what it means to be truly legit,
life’s shaped by the ones who don’t quit.
her scent alone is enough to seduce
I’m not used to being so forward,
last night became tomorrow,
in this bliss there’s no room for sorrow.
and if i said i said too much
then I’m saying it cause i want to touch;
embrace you close,
as we breathe in each others kisses.
4:27 pm nov 12th 2012
And if Its all bullshit
As i hear the sirens pass by
I think of you
Not that I need a reason too
And if I did id say its cause
I love you
I do love you
You do know that right?
But im giving up
You win this fight
Im not feeling right
We have no trust
You told me yourself
Move on and don’t trust me
Baby I would,
But maybe I feel misunderstood
I am trying to get you,
trying to Love you
trying to know you
What are we?
Are we over?
Are we friends?
Can we be more?
I feel like we can,
But you say not today
Im tired of waiting.
8:38 nov 10th 2012
If you ever wonder what people think about you
Just look at them and listen to what they say around you
People are talking all the time, even when they’re not talking
People are always letting slip what they really feel and think
And it’s the observant ones, who pick up on it,
And it’s to the sensitive ones, the words and actions stick.
You know when you’re loved and received cause
You feel the walls come down as two hearts connect;
And if you’re not welcome all you can feel is that brick wall,
That hard cold sensation that disallows you to even speak
And if you speak it all comes out wrong,
Making it easier for them to judge you.
I love when I am in the presence of love
I can be me without any fear at all and speak my mind
I could talk all day –
Yet if there is no love no matter how much I say
The other person will never understand me;
Won’t even come close to getting me,
Whereas with true friends few words go a long way.
It takes a discerning heart to see through the fake smiles
False gestures, outstretched hands and curious ears,
Not everyone, in fact maybe only a select few –
Will only ever truly care to understand you – the rest
Are just nodding and smiling, hoping you do the same –
Return false love with false love;
And your heart is never felt.
I’ve often contemplated the remedy to this
Maybe thinking I’ve said too much?
Maybe I’ll say less or nothing at all.
Maybe I won’t do things like I usually do.
But then what is left of me?
I’m sacrificing it all for a group that construed my character?
Well fuck that.
I now figure I will be me in all the little intricate ways that are me
If someone disagrees or doesn’t understand me it only means to me
They have not lived as much as I have and their understanding is limited.
I do not need be convinced I am less, because they cannot receive me.
I will not sell out to idiotic popularity contest hosted by fake morons.
I will be loud and proud and outspoken and say and do as I feel in the moment
And the more I do so, I realize now, the closer I will draw those like me to me.
The rest can flake of, fade away and disappear
Or stand back, watch and learn.
Maybe somewhere thereafter realize
Though my walk is different,
I am trying to head in the same direction.
Nov 4th 2012
this isn’t easy. I don’t think it’s ever been this hard.
Everything in me wants to give in.
i dont feel like theres much point.
time will come and go and things will change
I have to be strong.
I gave my best.
You know where to find me.