I talked to my son on the phone. He went on for a bit about what he wanted for Christmas about toys and stuff and then something real imaginative… He was saying something about a thing that could create clouds that he could walk on and sit in and watch t.v and play video games from… At the end before I had to go he asked me if he was ever going to live with and told me he wants to live with me. He said most of all for Christmas he wants his family to come stay at my house with my family. He wants to see me more, for Christmas, he said… Yeah he calls Ryan his Dad like its natural now. He knows im his real Dad or daddy Ron as he calls me and Ryan is his step daddy, though he calls him Dad too. He has two dads and he gets it. Kinda makes me wish I was in his life more… and I will be eventually. Like I keep telling him… *sigh*
Well I may be fired from Wendys depending on what happens with this incident with eating chicken leftovers. We’re all guilty of doing it but I forgot to toss out the wrapper. I did this once before and should have goten written up for it, and if i had been would have been fired then… They let it go then and now again they will have found evidence of chicken theft and could fire me… everyone else is going to just deny it… I dont blame them, really.. id probably do the same, claim not to know anything… though others say if they got found out theyd tell about the others… but yet here i am and it will fall to me cause im the grill guy whos supposed to toss that stuff out… so yeah. oh well. What ever. Good reason to look harder for a new job when i get back. I am not actually to worried about this cause i will have another good check for rent and i will be moving into the house my dad bought. So i may have a chance to get a job and get on my feet in the first few weeks im back. That is if I do indeed get fired…. maybe im just over thinking it all…
Well I have some good Christmas plans set and am excited to see what happens this year. With Susie, and my friends in edmonton, my family on the farm, and Waynes in Athabasca… Christmas with my son again, always a lot fun.
Things are going to be different this year. Ill be moving into my own place again, well my dads place but ill have my own space. I will get my N and a new job when I get back in the new year. Things will be much better. No. Things will be better than ever in 2013 This is my year to fix my life.
the initial appearance of things
the way we wish to present ourselves.
our thoughts and that come to the surface
but are never heard
they remain hidden in us
the mind slipping in the moment
unthinking and raw and bare
face to face talking
where everything can be laid on the line
Layer one to four can be said to be real to fake
and vice versa; perception is layered,
and if we start at one end we’ll always be surprised
at whats on the other side.
Dec 9th 2012
Well it looks like I have to be patient for a little while longer. Which really isn’t such a bad thing. things will work out in time. For now, just be patient. I have to wait on the job, maybe wall mart isnt where i was supposed to be, even had i goten that job i dont know if id have had time off for Christmas so, at least with Wendys i can take that time off. I had my 2nd last driving lesson and was supposed to do the N test today but I need more practice says the instructor which is fine. I feel the same way. So ill take another month or so to practice then give it a try. That said come next month, I should be in a better place to look for work, especially if I do have my N then. So just be patient and take time to clear my head and focus on whats to come. Put the past of this last year behind me and see whats coming this year. I think 2013 looks promising and its going to be better than any other year. This year it will all change I know it. Sure I got some shit to deal with, counseling and probation and that will hang around for another 10 months or so but that will be the changing posses of me as I progress into a new person as well. This year last time I had nothing going for me, sure I got a few problems to deal with but at least I have some things going for me this year. Next year this time I’ll be looking even better. Perhaps life will finally change and Ill be alot better off. I am looking forward to this year closing and next year starting. It’s going to be good.