A different level

A Different Level

 

You know?

No you don’t know.

I’ve never bothered to show you,

I’ve never bothered to tell you,

And unless I did you’d never know.

 

And since you’d never know you’d

Never truly understand

What it is that has come to make me, me.

If I never told you’d,

you’d never  know my little bro

Is dead.

You’d never know that we suffered together,

starved together through wintery rainy storms locked in a sandbox like animals.

You’d not know that I’ve been through 5 different families

Fought my way through the system,

Through abusive foster care,

That abused us in every way possible.

No, you’d never know.

 

You’d only ever see my scars,

The scars left after my wars –

and judge me.

Lost in yourself righteous hate of someone different

Someone on another level,

Call me names like weird and creepy,

You don’t see me!

 

I’ve hidden myself behind layers of hardened toughness

Doled out by life and its knack of hurting pressure,

Yes I’ve become hard and indifferent,

Mastered my forte of a dethatched human being.

 

All because I’m tired of morons

Who can’t see shit in front of their faces

Even if I did tell you – you’d still judge me,

Cause you’re ignorant,

You’re self centered and spoiled,

(Furthermore you’re unintelligent)

You’ve never experienced anything like I have,

But I don’t let that slow me down in the end,

When it comes to me being your friend,

Because of the many bitter ends

I’ve endured.

 

 

I’ve become the understanding one,

The one who people come to when they need to talk,

Because I can sense the ways in which they are hurting,

I can see,

 

Because I’ve spent hours of days of years,

Just watching people;

Looking for that sad smile,

Like mine

Or they way they hold their eyes;

Their body language,

I’m the guy who can tell you your life;

When you walk into a room,

I see it,

I see you.

 

But I don’t care anymore

Cause everyone is ignorant

self centered ,

And caught up in some lame popularity contest of coolness

None of that matters to me.

 

The ones who do catch my attention

Have something different to offer than judgments, criticisms,

Rather something more of the heart,

Understanding of each other,

Sought in intelligible conversation!

 

If you can’t do this,

Then you’ll never know me.

You’ll always see me at level one,

Covered in scars –

Just trying to blend in;

If you can’t get passed that,

Then I don’t want to know you;

And,

You’ll never know me.

 

Ron berquist

August 16th 2013

5:33 pm

 

 

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