Brotherly Love

Sometimes you don’t care to explain yourself.
But people be stupid
So sometimes you have to explain yourself.
Make it very clear right here
That you are you
I am me and I do as I do
As you do what you do.

When I make a choice its not up to you
To make excuses for reasons why is okay
To continue a behavior I wish to changed
Were not the same, life without personal growth
Is lame and maybe its time I tamed my demons

They have me foreseeing a dark future
If I continue to do what ive always done.
If Its time ive won and conquered them
They only being me down.

Drinking every night, I can’t count the fights
Or the cost of a DUI.
Its unbelievable, I almost lost my job.
I’m lucky to be alive!
I’ve crashed several times,
And driven blackout drunk.
I don’t remember the drive.
Who else might not be alive?

Drugs, the hard stuff,
Just rots your brain and body
It may be fun but far to costly
It also drives me to insanity,
This is no way to save money.

I smoke pack a day so that’s 300 bucks
A month right there plus a six pack a day
Is another 300, and if I smoke two joints
A day at ten bucks, that’s another 300.
900 a month for basic bad habits
That only do me harm.
Mentally, physically spiritually
Its a reality that these substances
Fuck with my life.

That’s why Im working on quitting
And so I don’t need peoples defensive stances
About certain substances, or how they do it
All the time and are perfectly fine…
That’s great. That’s you.
My choice is my choice.
I wish to challenge myself to better myself

I’m not saying ill never drink beer again
Or I won’t have a cold one after work!
I’m saying that would be awesome!
As long as it was only one. Not one plus one more
Plus more, till they are gone. I’m tired of being drunk
Everynight. I’m tired of being brain dead.
I’m even tired of the taste and smell of cigarettes,
Plus think of the health benefits.

So I’m going to do my best to be sober,
Kill off my bad habits, because I want to feel better.
I want my life successful and moving forward,
I want real confidence in my true character!
Only I can give that to me,
So no one should dare try to take it away
Don’t get in my way,

Lastly If anything,
a real friend or brother or sister or what ever
Would only ever be proud of you and your pursuits
Wishing you well and cheering you on.

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Tooth Ache

Tonight is the last night of camp
For me.
Its 2:15 am
I cant sleep
Two hours ago
There was laugher and music in the air
The light weights passed out on couches
In front of the t.v

I woke up at 1am to pee .
Laid back in bed and it hit me
An unbearable toothache
That had my feet shooting straight
then aches came in shots like
A needle jamming my gums; it was hot;
I got up got myself some Tylenol.
Found a stiff drink.

Now here I am all alone
On this island
This rich-mans resort
At 2 am in the morning
Awaken and at last alone.

The moon is full
It shines off whisky clouds in the sky
Reflected by the ocean
That is also illuminated by lights
On the dock and water front.

A rich man’s (or womans) paradise
I share with no one
But my reader tonight.

Horsefly

Working hard in the heat
Sun beating down
Sweating hard as I shovel dirt.
My muscles hurt

BZzzZZZzZZ
All around my head and face
In the after noon when its the hottest
You little blood sucking pest.
You get the best of me as I wave my hands about
You’re to close to my head as I spin
In circles trying to spot you
As you continuously land on my head;
buzz in my ear
I’m tired of listening to you.

I work too hard to be annoyed by pests;
Insects like you,
Blood suckers like you,
I waste time and energy;
Fighting off bugs like you .

I hold out my arms and hands as a perch
As I give up.
Here! Bite me!
So I may swat you.
So I may kill you.

Let’s Gamble

We falsely place our hearts
In the hands of the broken,
We hold so tight to not fall apart
We place bets, here’s a token;
Spin the wheel and hope to win on love!

Everyones so wrapped up in it.
Everyones smiling for us
Nothing can feel better, we’ll never quit.
Until there’s a little fuss…
Lights off… No ones around now.

How quickly we become empty
How fast we become disastrously unsatisfied
Scrambling our mentalities,
Were not satisfied ’till we’ve broke ourselves and cried!
I don’t want to play this game anymore!

May I see your hands?
May I take my broken pieces…
I hope you understand…
Don’t be felicitous,
We’re just not meant to play together…

Fish Food

“You never loved me” she said.
Maybe she’s right but I certainly tried
She never made it easy as she peddled her lies
Hiding behind my back, all her guys.

Love isn’t some fairy tale you cook up over a spoon.
Its not words spoken with liquid courage
Love is not forced with pelvic thrusts.
It is earned painstaking with patients and trust.

She wasnt a princess, hard to let go of.
More of a whore I put out of stock in my store.
I’m waiting for something true and real
Someone who actually makes me feel.

Unlike you two who are a pair of shoes
Worn out with one lace, fake embraces
Kisses and promised dues
With you two…

A joke is made with your souls meshed in lies;
Negativity, no purity or honesty, simply greasy.

Reasoning has you two worms hooked.
You’ll wriggle together and drown
Before your eaten.

Self Relefection

I didn’t like that,
Today when I saw my reflection
In another’s words.

Reality got a bit
To close
A bit too fast.

I didn’t like the
Way my words
Felt as I heard

Myself
speak
them.

I was tired,
So tired
I’ve worked so hard

Allow me to lose control
Find the answer myself
I already have it in hand.

Thanks for the reality check.
I’ll be checking out now,
Thanks for the tip.

Veronica

I have too sigh to find my lines
For this breath; you’re as fresh
As the water at the river;
You’re soft skin wet and cold
Made me quiver
As we cuddle in our undergarments .

Her names Veronica!
She’s amazing on the guitar
She writes beautiful poetry,
She senses my soul with her touch.

I love the way she searches my face
With her soft delicate hands,
Then tells me I’m Im handsome

When she’s the one with the most
Beautiful brown skin God ever blessed upon a woman.
She has my gaze stricken as she strides the water
Upstream like a mermaid: born to swim.

This ones special,
A memory made in the sun,
In a river, we mixed together,
A memory to remember forever,
Is exactly what i said to her.

She senses the heart.
She is a light in the dark.
Her spirit is soft and clean.
Pure.

Even though The world has tried to
Leave its awful taint
As men used her and her
Friends called her a slut
The worst is,
“She’s just a blind girl”

She’s blind.
Yes. Yes she is.
And she never complains.
She’s always on time.
She finds her way everyday
To each needed destination.
Without hesitation

She’s bold and strong,
Head strong too.
She  knows what she wants
And fights for it.

She laughes and lives life to the fullest
Despite all her struggles.
She has a soul.
that is more beautiful than eyes can see.

Most of all.
Her senses sore, enlightening her mind,
With silly jokes and rhymes she sings;
Sometimes it’s Spanish and its no wonder
why she won’t vanish from my dreams.