Birthday Cake

I agonized for so fucking long,

but then one day you told me.

I have to be happy,


I believed you

I fell to you…

when I shouldn’t have!

I gave you everything

Then it was over just like that


And I was alone again.

I couldn’t cope with loosing you and not being with you,

I could not cope being the one not inside of you.

Numb with the seasons changing I was chained

to the frame of mind you had found in me in


I’m tired

Having trouble getting my thoughts together:

Don’t bother me;

I’m going to sleep,


The mad hatter look at his watch

laughing at our audacity,

he tipped his hat and offers me tea.


Don’t bother me;

I’m going to sleep,



I’m just another sheep

A magician with a hat but no rabbit

out of habit!

I had a carrot but it was eaten by a demon !

How can I fucking see and feel them!

I hear them!


yet they don’t steer my


they don’t’ steer my life!


Here’s my hat’ nothing in it so I spin it

I’ve had it today so here’s a fake smile and pray

and pull another rabbit out of the hat.



The knife comes before the cake.

Cut the strings to my present.

You peasant that presents the

 white rabbits that rush by.


I grit and bear a smile

I’m a bear with paws  – and teeth,

You smiled through

our death with

blood congealed finger tips –

 I fought you off yet you are

snapping at my heels!


Fuck this shit

I like my  berries with Ice cream

Cut the strings –  yet some

 puppeteer grows fucking wings!


Then Time passes
again and again and again!
 I stood here alone!
I thought you were my lover;
my friend
Until the end’ so one more time my dear
hear my please and let it ring in your ears!
I loved you!
Yet I go on.
A soul to forever roam this coil alone.
Time passes.
Again you tell me,
And again I believe,
And again you leave.
 I suspect this is my curse. 
 I’ll always be  crushed by the love that will never be
*Written by Ray, Ron, and Karen

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