Chasing Shadows

I’m trying to recall the journey,
The feelings of the last 8 days,
Trying to remember why,
Trying to recall where,
It all began to unravel my mind…

Where was I headed when I started this trip?
Did I have a direction of deluion planned?
And what was driving me so hard…why?
Why did I feel the urge to escape?
I’m so tired of same boring routine,
day in and day out, combined with my stress,
Im breaking down and acting out,
Reverting back to the old barbaric me.

Who really gives a honest fuck about reality?
I’ll take my anger and burn it like jet fuel,
Launching me beyond the fringes of insanity,

By night I’ll be a mad man, peeking out the window
Analying everysound and misplaced step of the normal routine.
By morning I’ll be a spooked out bug-eyed paranoid
Trying to convince myself I’m just imagining everything

And all the voices are really just in my head…
But that still does not explain everything…
I can’t trust my own eyes and ears, even my friends
So I’ll be writing signs and waving them in the air

Just in case they really are watching me.
If it’s not all in my head then everyone including the mood and sun
Is in on it – to scare me straight…

How much of it is real?
And if I knew the truth…
Does it really matter?

After 8 long days and nights,
Ive never felt more insane.
Despite all my unanswerd questions,
I do have some answers…

Though at this time,
im not sure they really matter.
Im staring up at the light,
From the bottom of the deepest hole I’ve ever dug.