Xiphos

A cursed gift – a realism of writing – though sometimes I find myself

fighting the demons I’ve imprisoned; remembering I was once one of them…

I struggle to fight – to make right every wrong – Whether I’m calm or exploding like a bomb – I always have a piece of paper and another song.

Even though I know right from wrong – I don’t aim to maim my fellow man;

I’m just another simple minded human – swayed  by the moment, each minute of each day – No matter how high – how low  – I always have something to say and sometimes

I just fake it and make it up on the spot; meaningless words with no plot;

Every moment distilled and spilled as the time is passed and filled,

hoping in the end, it’s only time I’ve killed – otherwise I feel like I’m going insane;

whether or not its been said before and it all sounds the same – I need to spill

the nonsense blocking up my brain… Stress relief and joy and every moment of pain…

I had a goal to write what I feel. to be so real it would be scary; I wanted people to share the process of my journey – connect with me – be able to see that no matter where they’ve been or what they’ve done – there is someone out there who gets them.

Life can get ugly, it can get grim and in a single thoughtless moment – on a whim,

said some stupid things that had me begging to be forgiven… I’m just a simple minded human – living the human condition, I’ve written and lot of rough drafts – please stay tuned for the final rendition… cause in the end… I’ve scared myself, put my morals up on the shelf and helped myself to pride and glory that I hadn’t earned yet; cause I’m not the one writing my story….

By now I’ve learned as each day comes and goes, only the Lord knows how each verse should truly flow, I’ve got to take it slow, I know I’ve got to let go… Give the gift back to the one who gave it to me – lift the curse, erase some of my sins and set my soul free…

 

 

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Destiny

It’s hard to see what’s coming…

When you can’t even walk the path you’re on.

And not for a lack of trying,

some things take time; A lot of time

– gota keep paying in time…

 

In time… In time… in time…

‘Till there’s nothing left

’till you’re broke and dime-less

’till you’ve choked on your last breath

unless… unless… unless….

 

You truly believe all the pain you posses –

All your hatred can be harnessed;

To tell your story! – and at last for all to witness;

You live… you live… you live! And you live with purpose!

The Hero

I can see so vividly the hero in me,

living well in the future; the future is static.

A reflection of the past becoming present,

triggers my ability to out think probability.

 

My hand is on the window, everyone’s watching me

Just got to clear my mind, and I’ll pass through,

then they will finally see me, the way I see myself

I will lift into the sky – secrete identity revealed.

 

I’ll no longer be afraid, I’ll finally tell the truth.

I’ll round up my demons, make amends for setting them free.

I’ll finally be what I’ve always wanted to be,

just as soon as I get up to turn off the t.v!

 

I will become the prophesy and expose the irony.

Hello broken society trying to tell me I’m living in a fantasy!

I can harness the energy of hatred and turn it into electricity

that fuels me through the darkness procrastination

has enveloped me in.

Blowing in the Wind

The Lord is calling me back

So I hungrily went to church.

I was moved and revived.

Afterwards, taking care of the practical

I took my resume to the bottle depot

hoping to find work.

With my empty stomach in mind

I began to pray to the Lord for His provision,

and blessings, reminding him I need my daily bread

And you wouldn’t believe it –

as soon as I finished praying

there it was –  an answer to my prayer

tumbling along the sidewalks,

20 dollars!

Blowing in the wind.

 

 

Until Tomorrow

It’s hard to believe in more;

people and things like church;

Or should I say powers,

Like God!?

 

When I can’t even function

enough to get up and shower.

 

When I had faith I felt unstoppable;

like when it first occurred now I’m probably cursed;

life is probable: It’s gonna keep beating you down;

I’m supposed to play nice without making a frown?

 

People’s morals are so weak,

to lead them means to be a clown!

I’m tired of helping piss ants

I’d rather drop my pants and piss on them;

 

light them of fire!

 

Yet I’m not helping anyone

I’ve gone so bitter I don’t know how to quit;

The personalities I’ve manifested to fight this reality;

I’ve turned into something I’m not meant to be!

I fight fuckers off and yet my soul is pleading

 

Someone save me!

 

A disgrace to society; labelled and shelved

I delve into myself and wonder how I was so fucking stupid;

It’s time for bravery but its hard to be intrepid when everyone

is just as stupid!

 

I cannot save myself for the lack of you saving me;

We’re digging this grave together;

When we’ve given up the fight;

We shall lay here forever!

 

Or at least until tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

 

My Empire

My;

I’m sorry;

if I come across evil

fair is fair;

I’ll fight fire with fire;

Ill turn my sorry;

and anger into

fuel that drives my desire;

 

upon your broken bones;

ashes;

I’ll build my empire.

 

I taught my son how to pray

After telling him some scary stories;

I said to fear is natural but don’t be afraid’

yet I live a sinners reality;

I’m not perfect; but I’m real.

I believe in the thoughts I feel.

 

I like the flowers on your tomb

Too bad I can’t stay here forever.

I’m sorry my little brother;

I’ll carry these days into tomorrow;

 

I’m leaving sorrow here today;

gonna find the faith to pray;

gonna try and save my life today,

I’ll carry these days into tomorrow…

 

I’m sorry;

if I come across evil

fair is fair;

I’ll fight fire with fire;

I’ll turn my sorrow and anger into

fuel that drives my desire;

for

Upon your broken bones;

ashes,

I’ll build my empire.